I don’t sing in the shower anymore. It’s as if something has happened. The worse part is I did not realise it till now. What happened? Did something go wrong? I still try to figure !

I look at my life. Everything is fine. we are a family of 3, with my wife and our little 1.5 years old toddler. He just lights up our lives. We are happy. Then why did I stop singing. When exactly did I stop. I can’t seem to remember.

I have grown up humming songs. Have sung in stages, on roads and at hostel showers. I was identified with my songs. In dark nights at our village, I use to sing, because it gave me a sense of confidence, and also blocked other sounds of the night. My neighbours knew me by my songs, and would call out to me. My dad hated it, asked me to give it up and focus on ‘studying’ more. For him, what mattered the most was I getting a job and getting ‘settled’. I got the singing genes from my Mom. She still sings and does it with full fervour and love. She still has the ability to make people cry with her song. She can compose a song or two on her own. we were both ‘shameless’ in a society which made many ‘judgements’.

In my hostel days, at Guwahati Cotton College, my friends and hostel mates called me ‘the singing guy’ who sang like crazy in the bathroom. we had singing buddies. He sang English songs, while I focused on Assamese and Hindi. We are still friends. I am not sure if he has also stopped singing in the shower. I shall ask him when I meet him next.  We were the ‘star campaigners’ for the candidates of our hostel standing for college elections. In that sense, we were pretty pampered and ‘sought after’. I sang at Freshers parties and at drunken nights too. My singing even got me out of hostel Ragging too.

In Delhi, I was requested for by my seniors, who missed the ‘motherland’. I could hum a few tunes of our folk songs. I never picked up English songs, nor could sing them. May be because, I never had the opportunity to hear them while growing up. We had no radio or televisions. The first black and white television at our family came, when I was about 12 years old. We use to watch ‘serials’ like Chitrahaar and Chandrakanta etc. at our neighbours house. They were better off than us. Sundays were fun days.

In Mumbai, during my masters, I sang too in the shower. I use to sing louder than usual to bother some of my ‘punter group’ friends. We still have the punter group, though we talk more on WhatsApp now. I also sang for my wife often. It started off with ‘teasing songs’ to ‘love songs’. She smiled along. More than the songs perhaps, she liked the fact that I made an effort to sing for her.

When it came to songs, I was never shy. I was ready to sing at the drop of the hat. I have sung songs which did not suit the time or place. I have rate distinctions of singing ‘Ganga Behti ho Kyun’  (by Bhupen Hazarika) at a friends wedding. Of all the places I loved the most to sing in the shower.

But it has been long since I have sung in the shower. A song just for myself. When did I stop? I can’t seem to remember !!!!

to be continued ….!!!!